How to use a competing offer without bluffing

A competing offer changes the shape of a negotiation. Before it, the company is deciding whether to pay you more. After it, they are deciding whether to lose you — a different question with a different answer, and usually a faster one.

It is also the card people play worst.

The one rule

Never claim an offer you do not have.

This is not a moral point, it is an arithmetic one. A bluff creates three possible endings and you only control one of them:

1. They match, and you either accept the match while the lie is still standing, or you decline and have to explain walking away from a job you wanted — to a company that may call the other one.
2. They call it, ask for the letter, and you have to produce it.
3. They wish you well, and you have to decide whether you meant it.

Endings 2 and 3 both cost you the job. Ending 1 costs you the job you actually wanted. There is no version where the bluff is free.

Raise it as information, not as a threat

The framing that works is the one that keeps the decision with them and removes the confrontation:

“I want to be straight with you, because I’d rather work here. I have an offer from [company] at [number]. I’m not using it as a lever — I’m telling you because it’s the one thing standing between me and saying yes.”

Three things are happening. You have said you prefer them, which gives them a reason to solve the problem rather than win the argument. You have named a specific number, so they know what the target is. And you have explicitly declined to threaten, which is what makes the next silence bearable.

Only raise it when all four are true

• The offer is real and in writing. Verbal offers evaporate, and you cannot produce one.
• You would genuinely take it. If you would not, you are not negotiating, you are guessing.
• You have not already accepted the other one. Negotiating with a signed acceptance in your drawer is how people end up with two burned bridges and one job.
• You are ready for them to say no. If a “no” would make you panic, the card is too heavy for the hand you are holding.

The mechanics that people get wrong

Do not name the company unless you are happy for them to check. “Another company” is enough. Naming a competitor invites a call you have not authorised.

Do not inflate the competing number. If they match an inflated figure and then verify it, you have a signed offer you cannot honour.

Do not raise it twice. Once the card is on the table it stays there, and it is answered once. A second mention reads as an auction you are running against yourself.

Do not let it be the first thing you say. Lead with interest and the substantive case for your value. The competing offer is the accelerant, not the argument.

When it is a deadline instead of a number

Sometimes the useful part of the other offer is the clock, not the money:

“I have a decision to make by Friday, and I’d rather make it here. Is there any way to move the process along?”

This is usually the most effective and least risky use of a competing offer, because it asks for a decision rather than a number, and asking someone to hurry is far less adversarial than asking them to pay more.

If they cannot match

Not every company can, and a refusal is not always a rejection of you — bands, levels, and comp committees are real constraints. Then it becomes a straightforward question:

• If the gap is small and you prefer them, take the preference and ask for something outside the band: a signing bonus, a title, an earlier review.
• If the gap is large, the other offer is the answer, and the polite version of that is “I wish it were closer, because this was my first choice.”
• If they match instantly and without hesitation, you were underpaid and they knew it. That is worth knowing too.

What it costs

Playing this card is not free. It tells the company you were interviewing elsewhere, it can shift how they see your commitment, and if it is handled clumsily it can cost you the offer even when they could have matched. That is a real price, and it is worth paying when the number is large and the offer is real.

It is never worth paying for a number you invented.